Opie grew up with kinfolk in the safe haven of Mayberry, and the lives of the Waltons unfolded amid a tightly-knit and caring community. TV families like these represent a time in American culture when parents sent their kids out to play with the assumption that they would be safe and looked-after by neighbors. These same neighbors would likely support each other in times of sickness and crisis, and rally together for the good of the community. While this scenario may seem old-fashioned in today’s culture, it is a reality for thousands who are choosing to live in cohousing communities across the country.

Today there are more than 100 completed cohousing communities in the United States, according to the Intentional Communities website. The majority are resource efficient, using “green building” and sustainable development practices. They are also largely designed by the residents who live in them. Cohousing communities include both private homes and a common house, as well as shared open space.

These clustered private residences use less land than traditional homes with yards, and may face each other from across a pedestrian street or courtyard. Front doors offer views of the common house, which has a kitchen and great room or dining room for meals and meetings. Residents typically meet two or three times a week to eat together, address problems and develop community policies. They also manage their community and homeowner’s association, and perform much of the property maintenance. Leadership roles exist, but no one person has authority over the others, and decisions are made by consensus.

Architects Charles Durrett and Kathryn McCamant designed and built the first American cohousing community in Davis, California in 1991. They borrowed the concept from Denmark, where the desire for “living community” spawned cohousing as it’s known today. According to Durrett, approximately 8,000 people in 38 states have joined these intentional communities, with the goals of leaving behind a lighter environmental footprint and living richer and more meaningful lives.

Durrett lives with his wife and daughter in the Yulupa cohousing community in Santa Rosa, California. Moderately dense with 29 homes, Yulupa is an infill neighborhood that’s regarded as a model for demonstrating energy efficient design. Features include passive cooling, radiant in-floor heating and stub-outs for solar water heating. Residents of this community also chose to use organic, pesticide-free landscaping, recyclable carpet, low or no Volatile Organic Compound (VOC) paint, and lumber harvested with sustainable practices whenever possible.

On a personal level, Durret says that cohousing has taught him to appreciate and value interdependency. “I enjoy the endless possibilities for growing in consciousness with a group of like-minded people,” he says, “and I am grateful that living in community has helped me to achieve many of my personal aspirations.”

Durrett says he also benefits from developing a deep appreciation for the spiritual diversity of his neighbors. This awareness has led him to co-create a workshop with other cohousing professionals and leaders of various spiritual traditions called “Waking Up Together: Creating Contemplative Residential Communities.” The workshop is designed to help those interested in cohousing to explore how they can develop communities that value and encourage everyday spirituality. Durrett says it will also address the creation of dynamic communities that support each member’s personal journey while serving the larger society.

“The beauty of our diversity is that while some residents share life at its most meaningful levels, others would rather meditate alone while raking leaves,” says Durrett.

Children can also benefit from growing up in the cohousing environment, says Durrett. He notes that his daughter, an only child, has been reaching for the front doorknob since she was 18 months old—wanting to be a part of whatever was happening with her collective brothers and sisters in the neighborhood. As a result, says Durrett, she developed incredible self-esteem, confidence and people skills.

Of course, any scenario that finds people living together holds the potential for conflict, too. Durrett says occasional difficulties arise when residents attempt to achieve consensus on community issues, but adds that much can be learned in the process.

“I, like everyone else, usually start out at ‘If they did things my way, they would find that I’m right.’” he says. “But I’m amazed that 99 percent of the time, the collective decision is better than that of any one person.”

Libby Dingeldein is a resident of Milagro, a 43-acre intergenerational cohousing community in Tuscon, Arizona, that contains 28 two-story townhomes. She says that those who come to cohousing are drawn by the prospect of living with like-minded neighbors.

“People seeking this lifestyle are almost always members of the Cultural Creative generation,” says Dingeldein, “with values and goals that dovetail well with community living.” When potential buyers ask to see the golf course, or wonder why the community isn’t gated, Dingeldein says she knows that they aren’t the right fit.

A self-admitted, community-minded person who appreciates group dynamics, Dingeldein remembers two potential buyers who once toured Milagro. Although she pointed out that the entire community—green space, benches, pathways and trails on 43 acres—was theirs to enjoy, the couple elected not to purchase because the yard behind their home was too small. “Living in community where resources are shared is a different way of life, so people need to be flexible and open minded,” notes Dingeldein.

Those who are drawn to cohousing should know they will be expected to participate in the life and decision-making of the community, and that many of their choices can affect the quality of life of those around them. Having spent three years at Milagro, Dingeldein says she sees living in community as “people work in progress” and that those who can’t adapt to the process usually leave. Six months ago, her community brought in a facilitator to help the members work through several issues. After interviewing the residents, the facilitator determined that a true sense of community had not yet been achieved in this ecovillage. Five years after being built, Milagro is a community in process.

Neshama Abraham is a principal and CEO of Abraham Paiss and Associates in Boulder, Colorado, and a cohousing community member since 1997. “Cohousing communities don’t have to struggle with community building alone,” says Abraham, whose company trains facilitators to assist with the organic creation process for two to three years before the community is up and running.

Prior to construction, the future residents help to design their homes, open spaces, infrastructure and common buildings to not only meet their particular needs, but also encourage a strong sense of community. A facilitator is needed during this time, to help residents realize a shared vision and develop consensual decision-making skills based upon respect for both individual needs and mutually held goals.

Patricia DeWitt says she has experienced the power of a group of people working together to do something for the benefit of the earth and humankind. DeWitt became a Milagro homeowner because the community’s ecological theme appealed to her, along with the fact that residents were interested in learning how to get along more compassionately. She says the experience has taught her that she does not always need to have things her way. “I learned to listen more and to consider the needs of others,” she admits.

Michael Black is a social and design architect for cohousing communities who lives in Yulupa alongside Charles Durrett. He says Yulupa resolves its conflicts with the help of a proactive “Heart Team” with a “Heart Keeper” who tunes into the emotional level of communications.

“All intentional communities that value the paradigm of people getting along well and want to be good at communication are working on community building from a lot of different angles,” says Black. “Make no mistake, community building is work that is worthwhile.”

Famed anthropologist Margaret Meade once wrote that, “Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we’ve put it in an impossible situation.” It appears that cohousing communities may provide the villages capable of correcting that problem while building a healthier and more sustainable society—one that is willing to trade in rugged individualism for a “softer individualism.” Such societies acknowledge that it takes interdependence to build real communities that can make a difference both environmentally and socially.